Peeta: to the Capitol

Scared, I’m scared.
So scared I cry and
Do not care the world
Is witness to my tears.

She. Sterner than usual, perhaps.
No tears, of course, no signs of weakness.
As if she’d always planned to take
Her sister’s place and make the battle hers.
Protecting her own like the shy creature of the forest
She has always seemed to me,
Fierce in defence. Invincible.

Now they are trying to take her down.
Take her out. The girl who sang.
Sang a song so clear and true
Only a mountain might crush that voice.
But the rocks did fall, and heavily,
On her family’s life, burying her smile
With her father deep down underground.

She keeps to herself, self-contained,
Thoughts turned inside, saving her strength
For… later, while I go to pieces because
I don’t stand a chance to win this thing.
But she can win. Her instincts sharpened by
Solitude, she’ll make it through, she knows
The wilderness on the forbidden side of the fence,
And – I think – the other kind as well.

No, I will not go down quietly.
I’ll help as best I can,
I’ll help her win.
She will not notice –
She’s never noticed me.
I’ll give her the last of
What I have of time
To lengthen hers.
For her I could be strong,
I might for her,
I will for her.

I’ll step in where she …
Has never needed to excel.
Where I can speak for her,
Can smile for her,
Give what is good in me
For her and maybe
She’ll forgive me then.
Forgive my fear, forgive the
Bread thrown in the mud,
When I might easily have
Stepped out in the rain and
Handed it to her.

I hand her now what little
I have left of my replaceable existence.
She’ll notice too late – I count on that –
That I’m the prey who seeks her out,
Comes willingly into her range,
And so fulfils its purpose.

© jsmorgane (April 2012)

Fought for my soul today

I fought today
A rather fearful battle.
I beat today
My dear old friend
Ambition.

I fought today
A very frightful onslaught.
I wrestled down today
That strong antagonist
Called fear.

I fought today
A war against temptation,
And for an endless moment
I thought I’d given in.

I fought today
The battle of my life,
And found the odds were even,
That I was not alone.
A friend spoke true
And fed my vision’s fire
And saved my soul
Today.

© jsmorgane (Aug 2011)

Grateful

Like a bird I crouch,
Perched on the highest window sill,
Afraid to fly, afraid of up and down
Afraid of my reflection in the glass.

Curled up I lie, the bed a heaving ocean,
Frothing from a thousand mouths.
Your touch is cool amidst the boiling sea,
Your hand my link to every-day.

A foggy dream, and in the damp around me
I drift, bereft of all direction,
And run aground and founder
On my journey home.

Your steady breath chastens the tempest
And like a strong current
Speeds my ship onwards,
With the clouds gone and the fog lifted.

Then I dare to raise my head again,
And look into your calm blue eye
And find my place,
And know myself again.

© jsmorgane (March 2011)